'Create a Life You Love' Newsletter
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How was this marriage saved?
I was very moved to receive this success story from the latest reader
of ‘The Truth About Women’ ebook:
We starting reading 'The Truth About Women' together about a week ago and it was as if the light came on. He actually looked at me and said "I GET IT!” I understand now what you've been trying to tell me all along"
We have our good days and our bad days, but the bad ones are becoming far less and when we need to we just reference your ebook to seek coaching!
I know this all sounds so stereotypical but it is the truth. Thank you so much. You have truly saved a family from it's own demise!"
Click here for ‘The Truth About Women’
Isn’t it easy to have integrity when we’re not risking something? For
example, you can be honest with a customer when you don’t need the sale,
Suppose You Can't Stand Your Job
Have you ever decided you’re going to quit your job, but you’ll do it in 3 or 6 months time? You hate your job, but either you want to save more money first, or wait until you find your next job to move in to. Imagine you’re in this very situation.
Many of you will know this can be a VERY uncomfortable position! Your manager, blissfully unaware that you’re going to leave, wants to give you more responsibility. She wants to introduce you to that new account. You KNOW they should instead be phasing you out, and using you to train your replacement. But you keep your mouth shut because if they know you’re planning to leave, they might just fire you on the spot – right? Before you’re ready….
This, my friend, is a perfect integrity challenge.
One of my favourite clients, Angela, was trying to handle her work stress at a job she was planning on leaving in the near future. After a few minutes we worked out the real reason for her stress and lack of focus was that she was not in integrity about her leaving. She hadn’t told anyone at work that she was quitting soon. The tension of trying to maintain a fake front – of doing her current job, yet yearning for her new career was draining her energy.
Naturally, the idea of being straight with her boss and risking losing her job 3 months too soon didn’t appeal to Angela: “I don’t want to get canned before I am ready to quit!” she said.
(Note: In the online recording of this session, I also share with Angela my story of transitioning out of my last job – where I knew I was leaving, but not for six months! Do you think I faked it for 6 months, or came clean? And did I get fired? See below for the link.)
The Terrible Cost
It was then we examined what being ‘less than straight’ was costing her - the enormous drain on her every day. She knew she was probably hurting her company – people who had treated her well. She hated having to keep her vision of the perfect job secret. And it was hard to pretend to be interested in projects that would be gone from her life in 3 month’s time.
The Big Pay-Off
Pretty quickly Angela was able to see that the big pay-off to being honest at work would be realigning her integrity. The tension from putting up a front would dissolve. If people around her knew what job she was after, they would now have the opportunity to support her in achieving that! And she could rest easy knowing that she was SERVING her boss and her company – giving them the opportunity to use her to retrain a replacement, or work on short term projects while she phased out.
(Coach’s Note: Even if she lost her job right away, would it really be a bad thing? Sometimes when you lose something in your life, it is something that no longer needs to be there. The space created when you lose it can allow what is next to flow into your life.)
She started to feel lighter as she pictured her life free from a job she didn’t want to do. And more importantly, free from deceiving people and holding up a fake front. She committed there and then to telling her boss, and enthusing him in the idea of keeping her on for 3 months. We could feel her ‘Integrity Score’ zooming up!
Full Recording Available Online:
If you would like to hear the full version of this session online, including HOW Angela approached her boss and the RESULT, you can order it here. (Tip: It’s the first clip in General Growth I). Or, to see which clips are included in this library, click here.
* * *
So how’s your integrity score? Is there something you are not in integrity about? Do you have someone with whom you are not being honest because you’re trying to hold on to something that might not be right for you anyway? Is your energy being drained by not telling the complete truth?
I’m still enjoying stand up comedy, and will be one of the opening acts for a big Aussie comedian this month! (Ostentayshus). It’s so much fun writing this stuff.
My ebook ‘How to Pleasure a Woman’ was briefly feature in FHM magazine in the UK, and Irish Radio interviewed me which was fun. (Click to listen)
Lots of work finalizing the logo (still), the web templates for all 8 of my sites, and getting the affiliate program ready – lots of programming, but I’m a real nerd at that stuff and actually enjoy it. Speaking of which - I’m back into my obsession with the game Warcraft II – I know it’s sad, but I absolutely love it! If anyone else will admit it, send me an email (grin).
Bronnie and I are still learning and becoming aware of our individual patterns in relationship. I'm learning (slowly) how much I still take anger personally. And, I'm fortunate to be with a gorgeous wonderful woman so willing to change and grow. And hey, we're having fun too! We took our first surfing lesson ever - here are the pics.
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