'Create a Life You Love' Newsletter
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Are you tired of being single?
Are you yearning for a heart partner, or maybe just a companion, but it's just not happening?
Do you wonder why some of your friends just fall into one relationship after another?
In this two part series, I'll cover two powerful strategies I've used with my clients which will help you find that connection you seek and bring you joy and fun!
METHOD 1: Get Out There - Strategically!
Firstly, WHO do you want?
Before you get yourself out there, get clear on what kind of person you would like as a partner. Take a piece of paper and write down all the qualities you want in someone - physical qualities, job, personality, etc. Now circle the things that you absolutely MUST have. No one will match the full list, so it's important you circle the deal breakers - and be clear what you are willing to let go!
Many people walk around with active radar looking for their perfect partner, but the sonar frequency is so narrow they may reject a great 'potential' before there was even a chance to connect. Imagine missing your perfect life partner just because you automatically said 'too this' or 'too that'!
Now, WHERE do they hang out?
Isn't this common sense? Yet surprisingly few people apply this strategy.
Once you know who you are looking for, find out where these people hang out. If you were shopping for furniture, you wouldn't hope to find a couch at the bookstore!
If you want to meet someone who is into sports, go to sports games or join sporting/active clubs. If you want someone interested in personal development, go to seminars where you can't help but connect with people.
Ongoing classes are great places to meet and get to know people, in a non-threatening environment. AND - here's the brilliant bit. By choosing a class you love, you win regardless!
Take a dancing or acting class, if those are your interests. You get to meet like-minded people, and you get six weeks to develop a relationship to find out if youd like to get to know them better. Not like a bar where you get an hour under the influence of alcohol.
You found someone you connect with - or where there's a potential connection. Whats next?
The most important step people miss, is to 'ask'.
Actually invite somebody! You cant just drop hints or hope they will notice you. If you spot someone even remotely like someone you want to spend more time with, ask them. Put yourself on the line.
Think of an activity you really enjoy doing, and would like some company for, and ASK. 'Would you like to go to Centennial Park and bike ride sometime?' 'Would you like to catch a movie? Have you seen XXXX?' 'I know this place with awesome coffee. Want to get together for a latte?'
One exercise I do with my coaching clients is to have them ask out 10 people and get at least 2-3 nos. Why dont you try this? Keep on asking and it gets easier.
DO NOT treat every date as if they are an interview for a life partner - yes, you know who you are!<grin>
Rather than focussing on 'Could this be the one?', focus on spending time with them and having fun.
Do something you really want to do with them. If the date doesnt work out, thank them for their time and let them know it wont be happening again. If you had a great time, go out again. If you didn't, ask some else out.
As you can see - this is not rocket science. But as a wise man once said to me: 'If you don't do it, it won't get done'.
Keen to Try This Stuff Out, or Learn More?
If you would like to learn some tips for being more attractive as a potential partner, you'll be happy to know I go into great detail and give examples on my web site. You can actually listen in to my favourite coaching on relationships by clicking here.
And if you're a single woman, ladies are telling me this information helped them double their standards. They now know exactly what they are looking for in a man, and won't accept anything less!
P.S. I'll cover the second powerful strategy for finding Mr. or Mrs. Right in the next issue of 'Create a Life You Love'
Bronnie seems to be getting even more gorgeous. And it feels like we're both being nicer to each other. While I'm still very focussed on work and fun 'distractions', I feel in me a slight 'opening' and increased presence to love.
I have three stand-up comedy gigs planned - one tonight in front of a supposedly tough crowd. Yes, it scares me, but it's all growth, right? And I'm getting into tennis - it's good to have something physical again in my week. If only I could get a serve in!
There are some exciting new products on the drawing board, and one due for release this month. I'll be asking all of you for input on which products you would like to see - that's 15,000 lots of input!
And if you liked Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, do yourself a favour and read 'Wizards First Rule' by Terry Goodkind. It's hidden messages are sweeping the world! (Thanks Bernie)
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